I was totally into having a super duper sort out this week. I kept going back and having a go. Now, I was also asking myself was this because I was totally phased by the perceived amount of work we had to do? Possibly. Doesn’t matter now because the clearing out has cleared out my head and moved some things forward. And now I am tackling the questions in a systematic way. I’ve even put the skills list onto a spreadsheet…see, all those corporate years weren’t wasted. I’m even going to create a graph or scatter diagram so I can see at a glance the joy index of the work I do.
Something has happened to me. Going to the studio (I’ve stopped calling it the attic) has become a part of my daily routine. Those time slots available to do small tasks are taken advantage of in a productive way. Excited, as my friend says.
I was struggling to focus on what seems important at the moment. Then I read some of my journal notes and perfection leapt out at me. Perfection to me is a combination of making my own work and selling it, and hopefully working for a long time with the charity I work for. This is an arts collective for people with a learning disability. I volunteer with them and also work for them. I have learnt so much here and really enjoy it. So that is my ideal perfect life. As to my work….. I believe I have struggled with my butterfly mind that seems to be sending me all over the place and has done for many years. I can never seem to decide exactly what I want to do. The skills audit and the focus of this experience are helping with that aspect. There are also ideas of what I think I want to do that may just have to go. Yet I am also questioning who exactly am I trying to please as I sure as hell know it isn’t me!
I want to share this with you. It’s called “scaredy chickens out at night”
I made it a few years ago and I totally love it. To me this is perfection. Compared to things I’ve done that are in a similar style, this stands out and continues to satisfy me. I’m writing about when I made this and trawling my memory banks for the experience.
This is perfection to me in a way that the bathtime temptress isn’t yet they still employ the same ideas of construction. I wonder if it’s something to do with intent? The chicken piece was an experimental, play and see what happens piece. The Temptress piece was me trying to start a production line of work. I know that I hate the black line that was drawn with a textile pen. This is where I now understand I need to take TIME to make so the integrity of the piece remains intact and I am happy with it. Churning out is not an option if I hate the end product.