In my studio, I have a big overstuffed chair taking up quite a bit of space. It’s positioned so that it faces my design wall. Sometimes I beat myself up over the time I spend sitting in that chair, just contemplating the next step or taking the time to judge what’s working or not working. For me, this is a crucial part of the process of “making”. I’m not a fast-worker or a prolific artist, it’s just not who I am. I am a self-proclaimed procrastinator, which I realize is a negative label and a perfectionist, which is a slightly less negative label. I am beginning to have an awareness that I need to accept that this is the way that I process and produce art. I like the idea that there is no right way, there is only the way that works for you. We are on a journey to find out what our personal struggles are and what we need to accept or change about the time we spend doing something that should bring us pleasure and satisfaction.
Last week, I wrote that I’d had an epiphany about using some cotton fabric in an otherwise wool piece. Once I let go of the idea that I had to use only wool, it was very exciting to find that I had the perfect piece of cotton to finish the piece. I expected that this breakthrough would propel me forward and I would soon be sewing. But when I added the cotton, the piece began to go in a different direction as far as value. Eventually, I realized that the background value “wanted” to be lighter, so the process slowed down, while I cut different fabric. Alas, I am still re-working and I have yet to start sewing!
I think that I am learning to accept that this is how I work and what works for me. So now, when I feel a need to sit in my comfortable chair, I will settle in, breathe and contemplate to my heart’s content!