I am surprised at how hard I have found lesson 3! The dismantling is something I have been working on for the last few years. I have banished the offenders from years ago and was trying to figure out “what is left”? I feel fear is left in a big way. I had three deaths in my family in two years, my mom’s accident shortly after and a good friend moved and basically checked out of my life. I have a lot of anxiety about what is next. I also miss my aunt who died who was one of my life long best friends. I wanted to share an image that helps me explain my relationship to the fear. In therapy we do this thing called sand tray therapy. Sometimes I don’t want to talk, so I make. I go into a small room, like a closet, and pick from shelves of figurines and objects. It is totally awesome and amazing how the objects seem to pick you! I am the black bird, the Cherberus is the guard of my fears, the one who won’t let me fully penetrate or understand it. The book between us holds the secret to my freedom. The presents next to me are my gifts that I protect. I chose the snake skin as ametaphor for shedding the past, and rebirth.
I also wanted to talk about the chakras and how I use them in self healing. In May of 2015 I went to Kripalu (the big yoga-teaching training facility in Stockbridge Ma) for a workshop on managing fear. The best part of the weekend was the infamous “noon dance”. I always loved to dance as a kid but really didn’t dance anymore. I danced to live drumming for a full hour with about 50 other sweaty wild people. In the end laying on the floor I wept. I felt so much grief just melt off me. A few months later I found a program in the course catalog to become a yoga/dance teacher. I spent the past fall doing the training. (I always wanted to do integrated therapy work.) The program uses yoga, movement and dance to open your chakras. I feel so much better and use the practice as therapy. For 6th chakra (third eye-intuition) we do a dance prayer. I have made up numerous dance prayers to music and it is very self-soothing and magical really.