Have you ever seen the movie American Beauty? It is a strange and troubling movie full of strange and troubling characters, but there is a quote with two variations that has such deep resonance for me:
- “Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.”
- ….there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude…”
All topped with that haunting, spare soundtrack that has launched a million ring tones. Give me chills whenever I think of it.
There is a landscape that makes my heart nearly burst; that is what I care to focus on in my art. My house is full its colors, my studio is full of fabric that evoke it, my most satisfying work touches it, and Ihike and seek solitude in there every chance I get. My being has become inseparable from it, My challenge is how to bring it to life in fabric that does justice to it, and by association, validates me. I keep shying away from it, 1000 excuses and as many artistic detours, What if I fall short? What does it say about me that I can’t give visual voice marrying my two passions (fiber and landscape)? What does it say about the land I love so completely if I miss my artistic mark? Which of the jillion techniques do I use?
I know now, from the lists in the past weeks. I am going to jump and do a series. And if I can’t get the viewer to experience what I feel, maybe it is because their deep seated experience of beauty is a plastic bag rising and falling in the cold air before a storm. But, I am now confident that this series will bring me beauty and gratitude. I have accepted that is enough.