Rayne V.

This week's lesson was a struggle because I worked outside my comfort zone.  I love painting.  I lose all track of time when working with brushes and color.  If you don't count house painting I have not worked with brushes and color since college. As a stretching exercise I approached painting in a different way.  I was hoping if I changed some of my ideas I would make more time to do it.

I am an obsessive artist and there is nothing better than being on fire with a idea.  Then midway through the project when you start to burn out you have to push through to the finish line. Any painting I did required much planning, overthinking, and many preliminary drawings. I've read about intuitive painting and playing in the process.  I wondered if I could be like a kid and play at painting without fear and thinking of the end result.  It was more difficult then I expected.

I kept putting off the project till a dream prompted me to push through.  In the dream I was cleaning old brown paint out of a studio sink.  It had a empty feeling because the only reason to clean up was because you were finished painting and there was no painting.

Before I could play I had to empty my head of all the "what I should be doing" thoughts.  I free wrote two pages of all the reasons I had no right to spent a few hours playing at painting.  I set up the easel in the kitchen and used a picture of a heart chakra mandala for inspiration.  For a few hours I lost track of time in brushstrokes and paint with no expectations of perfection.  It was fun and acrylic paint is so easy to paint over if you want to change something.

The most surprising part of this assignment was how difficult I made even starting it.  I've put everything away so no one will know what I was doing today.  The painting is not finished so I hope I will play at painting another day.  It was worth it if only to shed some light on my way of thinking that got in the way.