Theresa F.

My studio committee is voices not faces and of no specific person in my life or world.  I would categorise them as: an 'Accountant'; an 'Authority'; and a 'Consumer'.

The Accountant is the most active - this one is always requiring me to justify and provide 'good' reasons for what I'm doing - basically I am having to prove that I'm not wasting time/being wasteful.  The emphasis can vary between is 'it' useful/practical and/or is 'it' good/worthy.   I rarely have a satisfactory answer.   I think this is connected to my need to be ethical in my choices and not 'waste' my time/my life - here its kicked into overdrive and usually paralyses me - cause I often I don't have an answer and the response 'i dont know' isn't good enough.

If,  whatever I am doing gets past the Accountant - it gets subjected to the scrutiny of the 'Authority'. It can vary between being an older, conservative voice and increasingly these days (as I get older), a younger, confident, trendsetting voice.  This is the person who decides who is a 'real artist' and who isn't - it spots the pretenders.  It also determines whether the work has 'meaning'.  An element of this is very similar to the 'too big for your britches' sentiment - here in Australia we have a 'tall poppy syndrome' and a favourite sport is to cut down the 'tall poppy' - if you move outside of your role - know your place - you get chopped off at the knees - i.e you can't call yourself an 'artist' - that is something that is given to you, not something you take for yourself.  This is connected to my need for approval - wow and I really don't like to admit - that part of me seeks approval.

If....and this is a big if....if we get past the Authority - we are then subject to the scrutiny of the 'Consumer'.  This person decides the 'value' of the work - and it really only comes down to one thing - would someone buy it/would I be able to sell it?  The consumer has few words - 'I wouldn't pay for that', 'I would only pay.....', 'My kid could do that ....and it would be cheaper' or 'I could do it myself'.  This is linked to my need for recognition and being a citizen of the 21st century, the value of everything is translated into $$$, therefore for me recognition is measured in terms of $$$.