Lesson Three - Kerstin S.

Oh yeah, that was a tough one. I startet my exercise last Wednesday and had all the afternoon to think and write about my committee. Not a nice exercise for me but really effective.

On my committee the main person is my mother, or so I always thought. I wrote and wrote until I had more than 8 pages (a mix of German and English and symbols) and I felt really free after that. I listet all the things which came into my head why my mother is on my committee and what she stands for. To cut a long story short I noticed that she has her own portion of problems in life and she just can not be how I wish my mother should be. But her problems are hers not mine. And in the end I noticed that there is basically only me on my committee. Me and my lack of self-confidence and other problems. 

So it is my turn to work with this. At that moment there was a memory of a manager of a museum I worked at several years ago. I liked her very much and when I left she gave me a beautiful brooch as a farewell present. I was very surprised because I never realised or even thought of that she would appriciate my work. Looking back there were several people who appriciated my work during the last 20 years. So why didn't I believe them but only my commitee? 

Of course I didn't find the solution to all my problems in one afternoon. I am dealing with this subject for a long time but it was a big step forward for me to do this exercise.

I needed some days to find a little distance to my emotional writing. When I reread it it is still a very good feeling :)

And I have weared the brooch all weekend as a reminder of all the good people in my life. So I think if the committee members try to come back again I will look at my brooch and laugh at them ...