Lesson Two - June Heap

Week 2's work has been very liberating for me. Throughout much of my life I have thought of myself as a rule follower.  Week 2 turned this belief on it's head. I had never come across the "extended square" design exercise before and it looked fun. The instructions were clear...I understood them and began my first sample "by the rules". This lasted about 10 seconds as I suddenly thought...what if I do this...this might be fun/interesting and continued doing that 'til I'd finished the piece.  Then started a new one "I'll do it by the rules this time".  No - same thing happened.  So I gave up and just enjoyed myself.  And between cutting and sticking, I started to do a lot of writing.  More and more.  I couldn't stop.  About my parents, about my jobs, about my relationships with friends, family etc. And in doing so, suddenly recognised myself.  A pleaser.  A fitter in.  Easy going on the surface. But underneath, a quiet, secretive and well-hidden rebel. I saw myself at different stages in my life being overly agreeable on the surface, but in my true self saying "well actually I'm going to trust my instincts and do/think/believe my way" This has been, well, a wonderful re-discovery of myself, that I'd so well-hidden over the past few years, I no longer acknowledged it in my consciousness.  Then suddenly I went "Oh, there you are, where have you been.  I've missed you".  I'm amazed and delighted.

The attached image is from a very old polaroid photo that I had originally scratched and drawn onto while it was drying.  It's the last extended square I've made. Though its a one sided image, and so is unable toquite fit the original rule, but I was surprised to see, that, I had retuned to a variation of our starting point....but through choice and decision making and my rebel self.